Free yourself from the grip of self-doubt and the weight of past mistakes. Discover the power of self-love to embrace the strong, confident individual you are meant to be.

Have you’ve ever felt like you’ve lost touch and want to learn how to love yourself again?

If so, then you’ve come to the right place.

Whether you’re looking to reestablish your previous relationship, or to create a new one, investing in self-love is never too late or a bad idea.

With busy schedules, competing priorities, and showing up for everyone else in your life, remaining in touch with yourself can sometimes feel optional, or like an afterthought.

Trust me, I’ve been there quite a few times.

But, the reality is, you are the only one that will be there for every moment of your life, so it’s time to mend your relationship with self because it’s the most important one you’ll ever have.

The tips and techniques below will help you lean into self-discovery, embrace your mistakes and the past, and get to know yourself so you can finally start loving the person in the mirror.

This post is about how to love yourself again.

HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF AGAIN

How Do I Know If I Need To Love Or Fall In Love With Myself Again?

Although we’re social creatures, I don’t recall any formal lessons on maintaining a relationship with myself, as opposed to maintaining them with other people.

If you’re anything like I was and are unsure if your relationship with self could use some help, then consider if you’ve been impacted by any of the following:

Low self-esteem

People with low self-esteem often struggle to love and accept themselves, leading to feelings of worthlessness and insecurity.

Trauma or abuse

Traumatic experiences, such as abuse or neglect, can severely impact a person’s ability to love and trust themselves.

Perfectionism

Perfectionistic individuals often have a harsh inner critic that constantly undermines their self-esteem, therefore making it difficult to love themselves.

Mental health issues

Mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety, can also affect a person’s self-image and ability to love themselves.

Negative self-talk

Engaging in negative self-talk or comparing oneself to others can also contribute to a lack of self-love.

If you thought yes to one or more of these, then it’s likely that your relationship with self is in need of some serious tlc. As a result, I highly recommend exploring your past mistakes as a starting point towards learning how to love yourself again.

Forgive Your Mistakes

“You owe yourself the love that you so freely give to others”
– Unknown

Another one of the best pieces of advice I could give you is to think of your relationship with yourself as a friendship, but better.

So, it’s equally important that you give yourself anything you’d give to someone else, including forgiveness.

Here are four ways to build a habit of forgiving yourself:

Acknowledge your feelings

Allow yourself to feel and express the emotions that come with your mistakes rather than suppressing them. You could also try writing in a journal, talking to a friend, or seeking support from a therapist.

Take responsibility

Accept responsibility for your actions and acknowledge that you made a mistake so you can start moving on. Avoid blaming others or making excuses altogether.

Make amends

Also, try to make things right and repair the damage caused by your mistake. This could involve apologizing afterward, compensating the person affected, or making changes to avoid repeating the same mistake.

Let it go

Once you’ve taken ownership and made amends, adopt the practice of letting things go because holding on to past mistakes can lead to rumination, anxiety, and feeding your inner critic. Releasing them, however, can reduce stress, improve your self-esteem, and make you more resilient.

Moreover, it’s important to remember that forgiving yourself is not about minimizing the seriousness of your mistake or saying that what you did was okay. Rather, it’s about accepting that you made a mistake, taking steps to make amends, and moving forward with a sense of compassion and understanding towards yourself.

Learn From The Past

“What lies behind me, I will forget. I’m pressing into, what lies ahead.”
– Israel Houghton, Promise Keeper

Learning from your past experiences can help you grow significantly as a person and make better decisions in the future. Although some things may be difficult to forget entirely, reclaim your power by searching for the lesson and using it/them as a guide forward.

Here are three ways to learn from your past:

Reflect

During your reflection time, think about what happened in the past, what led to certain events, and how you responded. Then, consider what you learned from the experience and how you can apply those lessons moving forward.

Seek feedback

Get the perspective of others, especially those you trust, because their feedback can help you gain additional insight.

Identify patterns

Another way to learn from your past is to identify patterns and behaviors that may have contributed to negative outcomes. Once you’re able to recognize them, you can begin making conscious decisions to change and avoid repeating them again.

Generally, it’s a good rule of thumb to approach learning from your past with a non-judgmental and open mind. Try to avoid blame so you can focus on growth and self-improvement. Also, be patient with yourself and understand that growth is a process, and it will take time to fully integrate the lessons you’ve learned.

Dive Deep: Get To Know Yourself

“When you’re all alone, by yourself, do you like you? Do you like you?”
– Colbie Caillat, Try

In order to love yourself again, there has to be a genuine appreciation for the things that make you, YOU.

So, do a deep dive on, or begin uncovering, all the details and reasons you think, act, love, and behave the way you do.

Afterwards, challenge yourself to pinpoint strengths and skills that make you uniquely qualified for the life you want to create.

Here are four ways to get to know yourself:

Personality tests

Personality tests are another way to learn about your unique characteristics and tendencies, including strengths, weaknesses, values, and coping strategies.

This free Saboteur test, by Positive Intelligence, is one of my absolute favorites because it can help you identify patterns that keep you stuck in careers, relationships, and from progressing towards your goals.

Reflect on your values and beliefs

During your quiet time, reflect on what is important to you, what your core values are, and what you believe in. By understanding your values and beliefs, you will be able to make significantly better decisions that align with your ultimate desires.

Explore your emotions

Pay attention to your emotional responses in various situations and then try to identify any related triggers. Once you have a better understanding, you can implement new boundaries to help improve your relationships with others.

Engage in self-care activities

Find self-care activities that help you relax and recharge so you can increase your overall sense of well-being. I also recommend digging into your childhood to uncover which activities made you happy and can help you reconnect with yourself.

ANOTHER HELPFUL RESOURCE: OVERCOMING NEGATIVE THOUGHT

Design Yourself

“Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten.”
– Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten

So, you’ve already accounted for your mistakes, derived lessons from the past, and begun uncovering the unique qualities about yourself. Now, begin designing your ideal self, or life, that you could eventually love and appreciate.

This step allows you to be the author and also the creative visionary over your life.

However, you’ll need to put aside your inner critic, limiting beliefs, and the opinions of other people to move forward.

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Think: Which behaviors, goals, or accomplishments would make me love the person reflected back in the mirror?

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Here are five ways to begin designing yourself:

Define your vision

Firstly, start by clearly defining what you want to achieve. Then, identify what kind of person you want to become and detail what their life looks like, including day to day interactions.

Set specific, achievable goals

Additionally, use the SMART method to create goals that are achievable and align with your personal values and beliefs. This can include desired career ambitions, language skills, weight loss goals, and also romantic and platonic relationships.

Create a plan

Develop a plan defining how you will achieve your goals. Create timelines, break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps, and identify resources and support you will need along the way.

Surround yourself with positive influences

Seek out people and environments that are positive and not fear-based, as you will need support and encouragement on your journey.

Be consistent and persistent

Becoming the person of your dreams requires consistent effort and persistence. So, regularly review your “why“ and vision board to stay focused and motivated.

Remember, do not to let self-doubt and past failures put a ceiling over your dreams. Find the resources, a community of like-mind folks, and put in consistent effort daily.

Daily Affirmations

Kudos to you for embarking on this journey to get back to loving yourself. Along with the other tips and techniques mentioned above, here are 30 Daily Affirmations that you can use to remind yourself of who you are.

1. I am worthy and deserving of love, happiness, and success.
2. I am strong, capable, and resilient.
3. I will live a life of abundance and prosperity.
4. I choose to focus on the positive and let go of negativity.
5. I trust in my abilities and know that I can achieve my goals.
6. I am confident and proud of who I am.
7. I am surrounded by God’s love, mercy, and kindness.
8. I am grateful for all the blessings in my life.
9. I choose to let go of fear and doubt and embrace change.
10. I am capable of overcoming any obstacle that comes my way.
11. I am worthy of forgiveness and am able to forgive myself and others.
12. I am filled with hope and joy for the future.
13. I am proud of my accomplishments and the progress I have made.
14. I am worthy of respect and treat myself and others with kindness and compassion.
15. I am in control of my thoughts and emotions.
16. I have a seat at the table.
17. I am deserving of a fulfilling and meaningful life.
18. I see the evidence of goodness and mercy all over my life.
19. I love and celebrate myself for everything I survived to be here today.
20. I choose to focus on the present moment and enjoy each day.
21. I am capable of making a positive impact on the world.
22. I am accepted.
23. I am grateful for the opportunities and experiences life brings my way.
24. I am deserving of a happy and healthy life.
25. I am filled with positive energy and vibrancy.
26. Good things are chasing me down.
27. I am proud of my unique qualities and strengths.
28. I am loved by God.
29. I am worthy of a fulfilling and loving relationship.
30. I am confident in my ability to create the life I desire.

Positive affirmations are most effective when repeated regularly and with conviction. You can repeat them to yourself, write them down, listen to them in a song, or use them as a mantra throughout the day.

Focus on the positive and believe in the affirmations, so that they can help shape your thoughts and beliefs in a more positive and empowering direction.

Conclusion

Lastly, as you go on with the rest of your week, remember that you are worthy and deserving of love. Change does not happen overnight but with a clear understanding of your past, your mistakes, and who you are, you can begin becoming someone that you love again <3

Xx

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