Live a lighter, happier life by learning how to empower yourself during moments of self-doubt and negativity.

In case you need to hear it, you aren’t the only one struggling with overcoming negative thoughts.

To tell the truth, many people including myself, are constantly evaluating the way we think because unchecked, negative thoughts can lead to delays and deferrals of important goals and dreams.

As someone with a history of being self-critical, mastering the art of controlling my mind has been one of the most important, and valuable, lessons I’ve learned about creating a more enjoyable life.

That said, I also know how difficult it can feel to change narratives – especially when you’ve believed them for so long.

But it’s not impossible.

This article will help you identify what negative thoughts are, where they originated, and how to counter them with more positive and productive thoughts so you can live a happier life.

OVERCOMING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

WHERE DO NEGATIVE THOUGHTS COME FROM?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say they were born with a negative outlook or disposition.

This is simply not true.

No one is born negative – every behavior you have was either acquired or learned.

Negative thoughts come from a variety of sources including past experiences, learned behaviors, cognitive biases, stress and anxiety, low self-esteem, and mental health conditions.

Check out the image below and see if you can pinpoint a few sources of your negative thoughts and negative self-talk.

WHAT ARE SOME EXAMPLES OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK?

Once you’ve established the roots to your negative thoughts, consider how they manifest in the form of negative self-talk.

Be honest. How many of the following examples, or similar, have you ever said to yourself?

“I’m so stupid / lazy / dumb.”

“I’ll never be good / smart / pretty / successful enough.“

“I always mess things up.”

“Why can’t I be / look like everyone else?”

“I’m a failure / loser.”

“I’ll never be able to achieve my goals.”

“I don’t deserve happiness / love / family / friendship.”

“I’m too old / young to change.”

“I’m just not cut out for this.”

“No one wants me.“

“Nothing good / exciting ever happens to me.”

“If my goal / dream / desire hasn’t happened by now, then it’s never going to.”

These are just a few examples of how we can manifest negativity into our lives through the use of negative self-talk.

EXERCISES TO STOP NEGATIVE THINKING AND BEGIN CHANGING THE NARRATIVE

In order to begin thinking more positively, try implementing at least 3 of these exercises whenever you have a negative thought.

Role Reversal

Think about a friend or adored loved one. What would you say to encourage and shift their mindset if they were being overly critical of themselves in your presence?

Thought of it? Great!

Now head to a mirror and say your advice aloud, but this time to yourself.

You deserve to have yourself as a good, trusted friend.

Don’t be phased by this feeling goofy or ineffective. Doing this consistently will help you establish yourself as someone you’re safe with and as someone you can trust.

Why Am I Having This Thought?

Stop and ask yourself why you are having a negative thought or are engaging in negative self-talk.

Was there an interaction, event, or specific remark that triggered this response? Could this be a sign that you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable?

One thing you can try at the onset of a negative thought is to record yourself talking to uncover details about the real issue bothering you.

Describe everything and don’t skimp on the details!

When you’re done, listen to your recording with intent. You’ll be amazed at how easy it is to pinpoint the exact issue triggering your negative thoughts.

And once you’re aware of what it is, identify 3 things you can do to resolve the problem and take action.

Be Slow To Accuse

One of the most beneficial skills you can learn in life is the power of the benefit of a doubt. Whether it’s for yourself or other people, learning to give grace will help you resist the urge to create your own stories and stop catastrophizing.

In a few words, identify the issue causing negative emotions or thoughts. When you know the source of the issue, you’re in a better position to handle it properly.

For example: Just because you stuttered in a meeting it does not mean you are inadequate. Just because you had a falling out with a friend or family member, it does not mean you are unworthy of love or loyalty. Just because someone hurt you, it does not mean it was their intention or even that they’re aware of the damage caused.

Do yourself a favor by taking a 10,000 foot view approach before allowing negative thoughts creep in and create an unnecessarily magnified response.

Self-Care

When you find yourself on the negative side of things, pull the plug and head straight for self-care outlets. It’s one of the fastest ways to recharge, create mental clarity, and problem solve an issue before it becomes a negative thought.

Prioritize spending time alone so you can create a safe space that is not dependent on other people.

Some of my favorite things to do when I sense the negative talk beginning are:

10-20-minute walks outside.
Driving to Starbucks while listening to a confidence boosting playlist.
Praying or reading inspirational quotes.
Laughing at funny memes or saved videos.
Also, absolutely nothing!

Overanalyzing and ruminating over thoughts in your head can be exhausting. Give your body a much needed break and focus on doing something that is positive, healthy, and feels good.

Build Your Circle Of Trust

I cannot stress enough the importance of having a crew when learning how to overcome negative thoughts.

Sometimes, you can try everything listed above and still be unsure of how to get unstuck.

I highly recommend building a circle, or crew, of people that you trust with your most private thoughts and can lean on when feeling insecure, negative, and otherwise down.

Prioritize those who have proven that you can be vulnerable with them and would not use low moments against you.

Consider your spouse, a close sibling, a therapist, a life coach, a trainer, or even a focus group with shared interests.

Not only will you create a source of accountability, but you will also gain supporters who can provide a different perspective on situations and what they see in you, their personal experiences, and proof that you’re not alone on this journey.

You May Also Be Interested In: BECOME MORE ASSERTIVE WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY

7 QUOTES FOR OVERCOMING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

As you begin the work of shifting negative thoughts to positive ones, don’t forget to take along a few inspirational quotes. Here are a few favorites that I know you’ll love!

“Positive anything is better than negative nothing.” – Elbert Hubbard
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it’s the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
“You are not defined by your past. You are prepared by it.” – Unknown
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” – C.S. Lewis
“The only way to deal with fear is to face it head on.” – Unknown

CONCLUSION

Overcoming negative thoughts is not an overnight process but it is possible.

By recognizing their characteristics and the root cause, you’ll be in a better position to address them and a choose positive and more productive path forward.

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